I was nervous, I did not know what to expect. What would he look like, would I call him Amy still? I sat in my car for a bit, nervously debating whether to go inside. I finally built up the courage to get out of my car and approach the restaurant. As I walked through the parking lot the door of the restaurant opened and I got a glimpse of him sitting inside. I did not understand why I felt so nervous, I was just catching up with an old friend from high school. I had not seen him in five years, maybe thats why I felt anxious. I opened the front door and their he was, sitting, waiting for me.
Adam had grown facial hair, had a lot more muscle on him, and looked like any other guy in the restaurant. I found him extremely attractive as Amy, but now I was more than ever. As we were seated we began to talk about our lives over the past years, our conversations were shallow and merely what I had expected.We shared little stories of the past and what our lives were like now five years after high school.
The next thing I knew we were not ready to end our night with one another. We continued our night walking around the parking lot digging deeper in conversations. Adam answered every question I had about his transition, he was completely transparent with me. The more he told me about himself the deeper our connection grew. We ended our night sitting in my car, he told me things he had never shared with others in relation to his transition. There was a connection between the two of us that kept us in that parking lot till 6am.
As I drove away from our long night, I knew there was something special. I knew that there was something between us. I knew I wanted to spend more time with him. I knew this was just one night of getting to know each other, but I wanted more from it all. I thought, how would this ever work? This is against my core beliefs, my faith. What would others think? I had so many endless questions that filled myself with doubt.
The months to come would reveal answers to all my questions and much more.